The Reluctant Stand-In

 

The Easter Bunny fell down

And broke his widdle ears

The kiddies all did cry

'Twas the sum of all their fears.

 

The sock monkey offered

To take the Bunny's place

Delivering all the eggs

But he was blasted into space.

 

Next came Mr. Reindeer

With his nose so shiny red

The authorities thought he was drunk

To the hoosegow! The coppers said.

 

Lamb Chop tried to do the job

But it would not come to pass

For she couldn't even stand

Without Shari's hand up her ass.

 

Simon was ready, willing, and able

He stoutly offered to do the deed,

But he couldn't pull the wagon...

He tried so hard, he even peed.

 

Another reindeer came to task

He knew he wouldn't quit


 

Unfortunately the reindeer

REALLY had to take a ...

 

All the children cried,

WHAT shall we do?

One goes to space,

The other has to poo!

 

Stay calm, they said,

Surely someone will come.

The others said I think you're right

And don't call me Shirley.

 

Wait! Cried a child...

I think I see....

Yes...I see somebody!

Why, it's Juniper Snowpea!

 

And the children started to shout

And yell and holler with glee

They pushed and shoved to be the first

To get their eggs for free.

 

And so Juniper Snowpea

With all the dignity she could muster

Kicked them in the 'nads

(You'd better believe it, buster)

 

She angrily pitched a hissyfit

And turned over her wagon of loot

She didn't care either way

She gave those naughty kids the boot.

 

She left them all weeping

So much for Easter perks

Those little kids didn't deserve it

They were all acting like jerks.

 

And so, dear friends, this ends my tale.

If this story did serve to please

Share your thoughts with our Juniper

Or she might bite you in the knees.


Return to Juniper Snowpea's Main Page


All photography and text by Sher of Emberwilde, 2006.
No content may be copied in any form without prior written consent from Sher/Emberwilde.

Juniper Snowpea web pages by Sher &
DKBB