Ginger-Pon Recipe
 

INGREDIENTS:

2/3 cup powdered beetles

1/2 cup bunny turds, packed

1 tsp arsenic

1/4 tsp ground belladonna

3/4 cup battery acid

2 tsp ground anger

pinch salt

1 rotten egg

3 cups mealworms

1/2 tsp gunpowder

Cream together first 5 ingredients by smashing together in a bowl. 
Add rotten egg and mix using a sharp knife. 
Add ground anger and mix again.

Mix together mealworms and gunpowder in a separate bowl.
Sift by forcing through an old window screen.
Add to the creamed mixture and stir until well blended.
Be sure the mixture is the color of baby poo.
Chill 1 hour outside on an uncovered porch.
Additional bird droppings on the mixture during this time
will only enhance the flavor. Do not scrape off.

Preheat oven to 375 F.  Roll out dough 1/4 at a time to 1/8" thickness
or slightly thicker on a lightly salted board.
Smash soundly with a really big rolling pin.
If it fights back, get out the electric mixer and beat into submission.
Cut with a cookie cutter laced with liquid arsenic
and transfer to a greased (or non stick) cookie sheet.

 

Repeat with remaining dough.
Before baking, decorate with mice ears, bunny toes, and kitten feet as you like.
Place in oven for 8 - 10 minutes.  Cool on a wire rack.
Decorate with antifreeze, hairballs, dung beetles, glittery 80s disco vests,
or any other items you wish.

If cookie gets undressed and stomps off the set, try again next year.
Threaten repeatedly with chicken costume and a sound spanking.

 

Fashion Credits: Outfit by Mattel for Kelly.
 

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Not a real recipe. Do not eat bunny turds and battery acid.


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All photography and text by Sher of Emberwilde, 2007.
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